"Is this it?" || "Am I pregnant?" || "Do we have a chance?" || "What are the test results?" || "Can I stop driving 190 miles every day, once a week, each month, now?"
The waiting room experience is usually the same: Check in with the reception.... Smile politely and say "yes, I still have the same insurance that really doesn't cover any of this doctor visit..." and I smile and nod when she looks up and asks "Are you here for another ultrasound?" Then I sit down with my 48 oz. of water and watch the Price is Right with my legs (& Fingers) crossed. As the contestants leap for joy because they won a new car or trip to the Grand Caymans, my stomach tosses and turns as the worrying sets in.
I think about the ultrasound and wonder if it will show that my cysts have actually gotten smaller or, better yet, disappeared without a trace. Will it show that my estrogen levels are higher and my eggs are increasing in size? Are we actually going to do this thing?
All of these are worries of every woman with PCOS.
Bodies of women with PCOS were made differently than those with normal ovaries. It's true. Our bodies will face struggles and challenges when trying to maintain a healthy body weight to get pregnant. Its about making healthy eating choices and exercising consistently to overcome those struggles and fight the PCOS.
I have been "overweight" all my life. Doctors always insisted that I am not overweight. They use their little handy body fat calipers to show me how there is no real worry. "You are just very muscular and big boned" they say. I agree that I am not as fat as I could be, but I know my midsection needs a lot of help. I try so hard not to stress about my size and maintain healthy nutrition. When I stress, I tend to rely on food to make me feel better. All of this time, I thought I would never be able to get rid of my midsection, and then I found out that the fat resting on my hips and waist were a result of PCOS. The foods I ate fed the cysts on my ovaries and just exercising wasn't enough. I needed to eat right, too. I can do this!
It wasn't until I saw a lady in the waiting room today. She was about 8 months pregnant and at least 300 lbs. All I could think was if I get pregnant, I didn't want to be her. She looked unhealthy and very unhappy. I didn't know her story, how she got to where she was, but I knew I didn't want to be her. Granted, being pregnant makes maintaining body figures difficult, pregnant women still need to make healthy choices and try to gain healthy weight for the baby. Eating right and exercising is still possible when you are 7-8 months along, right ladies? Easier said than done, and I am not saying be a hard core fitness freak when you're this far along, but I need to eat plenty of protein, veggies, and fruits to get the nutrients. I only hope that I can be strong enough to make these smart decisions if I get pregnant.
The waiting room is designed for thoughts like these. You have just enough time to think about what will go on behind those doors and time to reflect on the choices we've made to be healthy. It was today when I decided that I have to go all in with my PCOS diet and exercise if I want be the person I dream of. Even if its without a child, I want my life to be a happy and healthy one.
No comments:
Post a Comment